Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
