Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
