Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize