New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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