Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I deserve this hangover.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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