It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Randomize
