fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
