I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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