i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.