Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's

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  (443): i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's http://tfl.nu/fnpd
  Replies (38) Good night (3399) Bad night (672)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.

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  (313): i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried. http://tfl.nu/0j7l
  Replies (59) Good night (1756) Bad night (5455)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.

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  (787): She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work. http://tfl.nu/8rxz
  Replies (39) Good night (1006) Bad night (4341)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Houston, we have a squirter

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  (704): Houston, we have a squirter http://tfl.nu/27k8
  Replies (25) Good night (6627) Bad night (1471)
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?

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  (661): I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class? http://tfl.nu/dw55
  Replies (2) Good night (1463) Bad night (612)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?

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  (828): Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight? http://tfl.nu/35kg
  Replies (10) Good night (812) Bad night (2670)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.

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  (847): This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle. http://tfl.nu/3imx
  Replies (7) Good night (1704) Bad night (711)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.

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  (404): I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/o66a
  Replies (4) Good night (1199) Bad night (1407)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life

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  (425): I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life http://tfl.nu/15hg
  Replies (15) Good night (1593) Bad night (732)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

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  (313): At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/fpxj
  Replies (4) Good night (1452) Bad night (494)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!

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  (970): Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!! http://tfl.nu/2nfr
  Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (547)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.

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  (904): As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now. http://tfl.nu/x89u
  Replies (6) Good night (675) Bad night (336)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.

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  (248): The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager. http://tfl.nu/apbs
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (606)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat

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  (617): I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat http://tfl.nu/ph0q
  Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (349)
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  (315): View more from New York

  is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?

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  (315): is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it? http://tfl.nu/ubf5
  Replies (5) Good night (338) Bad night (473)

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