i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
