Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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