im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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