rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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