everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
