Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
