Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
