I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
