do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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