dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
