ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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