Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
