don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
