i barfeds in our rink
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
