I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize