did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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