That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
