is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
