the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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