Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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