You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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