you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
