she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
