You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
