well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
