There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
