And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize