In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
