Your tits are I can't wait for
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
