every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
