I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
