Just fell off a train. Bad.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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