ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
