Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize