The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
where are my pants?
in the oven.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
