Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
