McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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