yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
