i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
