Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
