so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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