found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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