Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
