Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
