I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
