Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
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Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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