Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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