im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
