god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
