I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
