I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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