I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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