Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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