If i come over, it means nothing
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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