I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
