um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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